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Sunday, 6 August 2017


I wanted to be used. I should be careful what I wish for! 

I am currently feeling very spent, don't get me wrong, it is a lovely feeling. I just had a rather intense 24hours, he certainly was not easy on me, and by the end I was curled up in a ball on his sofa, in a kind of haze, feeling thoroughly used and kind of euphoric. It was really just what I needed! 

It started at his, I arrived and was instructed to clean up, put on my hold ups, heels and bra and pants. He was angry that the hold ups I used were the ones I had been fucked in a few weeks earlier. I like to think of them as my fucking hold ups, that and they are really comfortable! Even with the ladders. I suppose it adds to the slutty look! 

The new hood was placed over my head... it is very heavy duty and he locked it tightly around my neck, the eye mask was pulled on along with a penis gag insertion, all locked in place. Naturally I was very wet, there is something about the padlock that does that to me. He then spanked me, I was spanked most of the night for various discrpencies I have made lately, the stockings didn't help!

He then set about crotch roping me, not before adding a large butt plug. This really dug down. My hands we attached at the back, there was something different about him. He didn't hold back, he wanted to show me who was in charge, in his words I am always topping from the bottom. I wasn't given any opportunity to do that this time though. My arse was beaten. Usually I am not good at that, but I was able to take the pain he was dishing out, perhaps I felt I needed it.

My nipples and boobs also got used. This pain I was not able to deal with so well. There is something very cruel and painful about clamps being added, taken off then added again. It is relentless pain, it doesn't ease up, it reduces after a while to a dull ache but as soon as they come off again the searing pain comes back. Right now I can barely wear a bra, my nipples are just too painful! 

After a long amount of time, I have no idea of time passing as I was locked into the hood. But I got really tired, so I asked to go to bed, thinking the hood would come off, along with wrist cuffs and cable ties around my ankles, the gag came out but and he unlocked the eye mask, but then buckled it even tighter, promising to keep me hooded for the whole night. I have never been kept bound overnight. It is himiliating having to ask to use the loo and brush my teeth through a small hole, humiliating but arousing.

Needless to say I didn't really sleep. I kept waking because it was so uncomfortable, or I would feel my face and just feel leather. I had no idea of time, I saw no light in the morning. It is hard to deal with. Obviously my pussy was aching and wet, having only cum once the previous day, I was aching to cum again. Stupidly I bated him when I woke, pushed his buttons and this saw me with the gag back in my mouth first thing in the morning. The worst thing about the gag in is the amount of saliva that builds behind the hood. I had been wearing the gag the previous day for several hours,  I was a mess under my hood. I was glad he couldn't see me. 

I found myself tied to the banisters by my nipples, which were hanging over the top and clamped around a post. It was painful but hot, while he fucked my arse, then decided to put in the bloody anal hook. That thing is nasty and humiliating. It makes moving hard, especially when tied off around the neck. I was then dragged to the stairs, nipples sore, and fucked on them. He likes to fuck me on the stairs. It was incredibly painful having the carpet rub against my tender nipples. He seemed to like that though. Then he left me there while he ran a bath. I couldn't see, speak or really move for fear of another beating. I felt exceptionally submissive kneeing on his stairs while he took a long bath just next door. 

Eventually I was allowed to move, bathe and take off the bloody hood. It felt strange to have it off after so long. The world looked different somehow. 

Once I regained my composure, I stupidly bated him once more, I can't remember what I said but it flicked a switch. Once again I found myself attached to his door cuffs, gagged with a terrible gag, the plastic ball kind that hurts the sides of my mouth and makes my jaw ache. He put the stupid fabric red hood one me, the one I hate and got his cane. I really fucking hate the cane. That is pain I just can't take. It feels like searing rods over my arse, he beat my tits and didn't seem to let up. He poured water over the fabric hood, making it harder to breath. By now I was in serious need to cum. I felt like I was making puddles on his floor.

I was eventually dragged to the sofa, he fucked my arse, always a submissive act, then plugged me and got my wand. It didn't take long, bound with my arms behind my back, hooded and gagged, for me to beg to cum. It was fairly sensational. Lasted forever. Then I was untied, I drifted into another place. I have drifted through the day like that ever since. 

I will probably masturbate later, about the hood, about the denial, about the bondage, but not about the cane. I hate the cane! 

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Wanting... needing

I am currently on holiday, it is really lovely, totally I filled with kink, just a girly holiday. The problem is I get bored easily, my mind slips to kink. Then I look up images, like is this one...

I have a burning desire to be left like this.. I don't know why. I have never truly experienced it, to the point where I have wanted to be untied and released. I am not sure where my mind would go, that is why I want it so badly. I have a need to be kept in tight bondage, used but not for my pleasure, then locked away, wanting more. I have found out I love denial, what it does to me body and mind. It is a very powerful tool. The idea of not being able to unlock myself and give myself release is hot. 

I suppose it is similar to being kept as a sex slave, that feels a bit extreme, but to be tied tightly and left there, hooded, for god knows how long is rather appealing, I may not say the same thing if I am actually left like that... so we shall see. Right now I need to stop looking at porn, may take my mind off it! 

Back to sunbathing for me! 

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Anal slut

So it turns out I am an anal slut! I found this out yesterday, when he came over and only used my arse. I was used first there a couple of years ago, it is the ultimate submission I think. It has progressed recently and I actually enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts like hell, but it is very hot. Especially when I am not able to cum normally. Being tied, hooded and fucked in the arse without anyone touching my pussy has a way of making me feel very used. He came in my arse. The grunts said it all. So satisfying when I make someone cum like that, yet so humiliating.

I did cum eventually, left a pool on my sitting room floor. He plugged my arse, I think the next thing is to go out with a plugged arse, it would be exceptionally humiliating but very arousing.

I have free time on my hands at the moment, it means I am watching far too much porn! My mind is going into overdrive. Not healthy. I fear this might end me up in a bit of trouble... to be continued! 

Wednesday, 17 May 2017


So it turns out, when I am told I am not allowed to cum it makes me very wet. I have never really tried denial, I am certainly interested. When he said I was not to cum until we next met it drove me crazy. Suddenly I was searching every site, watching every bit of porn and obsessed with my cunt. I mean seriously obsessed. My knickers have been constantly wet for days. I have been more than distracted! I am not sure I can wait till we next meet, my pussy need attention... now! 


So I have cum... I have been allowed as long as I practiced a little self bondage. I did so willingly, however it was a little strange! The itch has certainly been scratched though. It is a massive relief, and I am hugely greatful, honestly feel like I can get on with my life! Crazy how built up I was! I had a little squirt too! 

Saturday, 21 January 2017


I am back in London, working on my kink excitement for the year. So far it has not been bad, could certainly use more... could always use more. I have been living abroad, as some of you know, this proved difficult in places, mainly because my sex life took a nose dive. 
This is probably why I am going to work so hard at finding more fun, really spending time on pleasing and polishing my sex drive! 
Anyway, the point of the post... I am reminiscing back to some fun that I had while living abroad. This was with a work colleague. There had been flirtation for a while, nothing we acted on until one day when he came to my office and insisted I follow him to the stationary cupboard. Naturally I willingly followed. More interested to see where this would lead, than anything else. 
The cupboard at work is not a glamorous venue to deliver a blow job, but it is exciting. We both got exceptionally turned on, I got on my knees, worked hard and it didn't take long. Later in the week he repaid the favour, up in his 30th floor apartment looking over the city. Not kinky sex by any means, not sure how into that he is, but he is very well endowed and could use his tongue admiringly, with good consequences! 
Let's hope I have more to write about soon.

Sunday, 27 March 2016


It's been a while. A long while. I am visiting uk for Easter and have a dire need to be fucked. The problem with visiting my home city is that I have to stay with friends, so can't 'entertain' like I would want to or in fact need to! 
I have to make do with just a little self play, as quietly as possible. Not very satisfactory. Just thought I would get that off my chest! Let's hope I get some soon or I shall combust! 
Have a good Easter all.

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Used... Thoroughly

It has been a while but after my week I felt I should rekindle the blog. What an enjoyable few days I have had. After moving away to a place it is hard (but not impossible) to get a good bit of kink to satisfy my needs, I came back for a visit to my one love, London. I let certain kinky enthusiasts know of my arrival and my first was a blast from the past. He had been my first taste of rope and kink and it felt wonderful to enjoy his excellent skills again. An afternoon was spent in a hotel, surrounded by white rope and lots of fucking ensued. The best way to spend an afternoon in my opinion. He fucked all my holes and left me with a red ass. Ass play is recent for me and something that I really rather enjoy, he was more than happy to oblige. 
I put on my summer dress and, after saying goodbye, I left to join girlfriends for dinner. They were unaware that just a coupled hours previously I had been tied to a bed and fucked up the ass, and enjoyed it. 

The next day I made my way to the opposite side of London, to visit Him. A man with similar tastes to my own. He, unlike the other man, pushes me to my limits, and I love it! I have tested him before, seeing what he is willing to do to me and how far he can push me, he knows how greedy I am and enjoys (well I hope he does) being the sadistic Dom. 
I arrived, we kissed and that is where his tenderness stopped, for the time being. He locked my hands in cable ties, which are very uncomfortable when my hands were tied to the top if the door, he made me turn around, nose facing door, while I held his wallet to the door with my nose. This was not easy as I was quivering all over with anticipation. When he is in the moment he is quite honestly scary, taking none of my shit. He then best my ass with the most awful if crops, the lines on my ass today are to show for it. It hurt, a lot. But my pussy gave me away. What happened next was a bit of a blur, he made me cum a good few times, he made me hurt, he hooded me and used me, he took my ass again, he dominated me in a most delicious way.

Finally, both of us spent we went out for dinner, my ass sore as I rode a bike. His tender side came out and he was once more a gentleman. 

After enjoying a meal, we headed back and sat in his garden, we drank a bottle of wine in the garden, I cursed that it was so overlooked, which meant we couldn't play out there. I pictured myself staked out on his grass, left there to stew for a few hours in my own submissive heaven. We retuned inside and the conversation of when I last played came up. I admitted it was the previous day, he did not like that, he did not like that someone else had taken my ass. So I knew I would suffer. He then blindfolded me with the most judicious of hoods. Then he went to work again on my ass. Yet again my pussy reacted. Why do I love his sadistic side so much? Why does it turn me on? Then came the hooks, the one in my pussy was not so bad, he thatched it to the collar around my neck. I hate collars, they do do something to me though, make me feel owned, and in the moment he certainly owned me. Then he played with my ass, I had no idea what he put in there but I was to later find out it was another hook. It had a very large and painful ball on the end, which really hurt going in, after a while the pain subsided and he locked that to my collar too. I then made the mistake of saying the pussy hook might fall out, this was rectified when he tightened it, causing me to double over to stop the stretch on my pubic bone. I was owned. I started to drift off into some other place, my hands locked to the chains that held me. He filled all of my holes when he forced his stiff cock in my mouth. There was no way  I was going anywhere. All too soon I was released, his tender side coming out again. This is what I find frustrating, sadistic to tender in the flick of a switch, sometime I just want to stew in my own submissive haze for an hour or two, but I was released, and we headed to bed, I left my cable ties around my wrists, as a reminder of what I am when I am at his house, one day I hope he leaves me tied to his bed to sleep, the frustration would be fantastic. 

The next day I was woken with his cock, half asleep I gave a blowjob, not my best work admittedly. Then he got me out of bed and tied me to his banisters, gagged me (oh how I love to be gagged) and fucked me over the banisters. 
Then he moved me to the stairs, and fucked my ass until we both came in a panting mess. Leaving me to come down he ran a bath. Is it wrong that I just want to be left, tied securely, to watch him take a bath, making me know what and who I truly am? While he pushes me to my limits I always seem to want more. 

He made me breakfast and we enjoyed some normal chat, well he talked and I listened which is what mostly happens! Then, before lunch I once again found myself gagged, hooded and left while he took a work call. After lunch we said our goodbyes in the driving British summer rain. I am not sure when I will see him again but I know that my ass is off limits to anyone but him, and that will keep me wet for a while! Especially the thought of what he will do if he finds out another has used what is his!